Why do birds suddenly appear.....

....EVERY time I'm trying to get some sleep or when I'm trying to avoid getting up in the morning??!!
According to Disney, the sound of bird-song in the morning should make my eyelids flutter gently open, a smile should appear on my lips and I should prance around my bedroom thrilled to be alive. I would naturally be enticed to sing along with my feathered friends, who would aid me in my daily washing routine and would prepare a gown for me to waltz around my house with. It seemed to work for Cinderella and sleeping beauty, but the 'bird-song' I'm experiencing here just makes me want to rush out and buy an airgun and rifle and begin shooting at the annoying creatures whilst laughing manically.

Here's the thing. The birds outside of my window possess no musical talent whatsoever. I mostly have to listen to sparrows, crows and magpies croaking and screeching at me at unholy hours in the morning. It is impossible to explain to the reader just how mind numbingly awful these sounds are - but let me make one attempt. At the very moment I am writing this blog in beautiful Norway, there are crows and magpies in the near vicinity making a similar sound to what you might experience if you were trying to rev the engine of a dried out tractor motor. Other sounds you can compare the feathered ones to are; an incessant car alarm, a chain saw cutting through a cargo ship, a vacuum cleaner sucking up pieces of Lego, any of the dinosaur sounds from the Jurassic Park film and, my personal nemesis, the screeching pterodactyl like fell-beasts from the Lord of the Rings films. Such awfulness.

When Vera Lynn belted out; 'A Nightingale Sang in Berkley Square,' to the sheer delight of millions, she was clearly oblivious to the migraine that is bird-squawking. Also, a friend of mine once commented that of all her favourite sounds, bird-song was her number one. At the time I nodded my head politely in agreement, but, no more. Bird-squawk, and I don't care who I offend here, is one of the most annoying sounds I can think of. (Apart from teenagers who play techno crap from their cars at three in the morning, and improvised jazz - obviously.)

Am I alone here? Not too fussed if I am actually. I'm off to buy ear plugs, and possibly a rifle. I'll keep you posted.

http://thehornskickedin.blogspot.com/2009/06/annoying-pain-bird.html