In your face dude - wha-ev va.

This blogg entry is dedicated to Mr Eirik Fjellestad.









Mr Fjellestad is a sweet, yet, clueless creature who will soon be leaving us for the distant shores of America. After speaking to Mr Fjellestad today, I made an alarming discovery about his knowledge about cross cultural relations - he knows nothing!! This got me thinking about what other people know/do not know about, for example, my culture. On the basis of this, I have decided to give you some helpful tips that may, or may not, save your life.

Whenever you move to another country you will be subjected to a certain amount of cluelessness on your part, because of all the hidden rules a country may have. These rules are, obviously, only hidden from you personally. Not many people from the country you are staying in will even be aware of these rules, and therefore will prove useless in helping you settle in. Here are some do's and don'ts that apply to Britain, and possibly some apply to America - I can't say for sure, since I'm not a Yankee.

When moving to England then, Do:

1) Speak up - we are often loud people and wont often bother with asking: "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

2) Get used to sharing information about yourself - we like to converse properly.

3) Be polite. Say thank you and please for everything you can think of.

4) Introduce yourself properly - don't mumble - it's annoying.

5) Go to the pub. Sitting in someones "stue" is very dull if done too often.

6) If you're a man - take some flipping initiative!! Ask a girl out for coffee, pay for everything, open the door for her and communicate properly what you want from the friendship/relationship.

7) Say thankyou in traffic. Signal gratefulness when someone let's you into a queue.

8) Be open to trying new kinds of food.

9) Laugh a lot.

10) Learn to take the mick/tease people. We like it.

The following rules are written to help you not make an ass of yourself. I have highlighted the ones that Eirik seemed to find particularly difficult, with stars, in the hope that he will re-read them and learn from his mistakes - here's hoping.

Don't. (Now pay attention Eirik, DON'T forget that I used to be your teacher!!)

1) * Don't have the following answers in a conversation:

English person: So, how are you then?

You: Good.

English person: Oh.... erm. What have you been up to lately then?

You: Not much.

PLEASE, and I really must insist now, please note point nr 2 above.

2) * Don't ask people how much things cost if they tell you they've just bought a house, car, clothes etc.

3) *** Don't get drunk. ;)

4) * Don't stick two fingers up to signal that you would like 2 beers to a barman, depending on which way your fingers are facing you may start the pub fight of the year.

5) Don't expect people to say your name properly. Make them practice first though.

6) Don't expect to understand everything when people are sitting in a group talking - this takes time.

7) *Don't ask: "How much money will you inherit then?", to someone who is telling you their Grandma just died. Say: "I'm sorry to hear that," or; "I'm sorry for you."

8) * Don't say "what", say "pardon" or "sorry" if you don't understand what people are saying to you.

9)* Don't say "shit" by mistake. I know it doesn't mean anything over here - but in Britain - IT DOES!!!

10) Don't take yourself too seriously - learn to tell embarrassing stories about yourself, learn to laugh at yourself.

Finally though.........

DO try to have as much fun as you can. Meet people, learn different customs and traditions, be open minded and patient.

Be wide eyed and curious.....return home with new revelations.